Love is Blind; Friendship closes its Eyes
"Love, I read somewhere, is blind, but friendship closes its eyes."
How true.
The older I get, the more I value friends. Yet, ironically, I find that it is now not only harder for me to maintain old friendships, but also to form new ones. When I was in school, friendships came naturally. My friends and I moved in a pack - we ate, studied, gossiped and partied together. We exchanged secrets and gifts, sent cards and gave treats. Our friendships were firm, and sweet.
By the time I start working life. Through sheer proximity and the amount of time spent together, it was inevitable that some colleagues became more than co-workers.
The saddest thing about friendship is that it can die. It doesn't come with a lifelong guarantee. Distance is one killer. Unless you are diligent in keeping in touch with a friend, being far away can drive a wedge in your relationship. Changes in circumstance is another. It has been said that a friend in power is a friend lost, and I have found this to be true.
When a friend moves up in life, he will become too busy for you, while you don't want to risk rejection by trying to keep in contact with him or her.
Marriages have also caused friendships to fade as your spouse might not take to your friends. Then there are friendships that die because they have simply run their course.
I had a close female friend whom I had known since we were both 17. About four years back, after 16 years of keeping in touch through the mail, long hours on the phone and giggly lunches, our friendship died. Just like that. There was no quarrel, no disagreement, no underlying unhappiness or animosity or hurts. The plug was just pulled.
The last time we saw each other was at lunch - in fact, it was to celebrate her birthday. We were our usual loud selves. After the meal, we gave our usual hug, said our usual cheery goodbyes and made our usual promise to meet again. We didn't call each other for weeks (which was normal, as we were both busy), then months (which began to feel a bit strange, but nothing to be alarmed about), then, yes, years (by then, it was too late to resuscitate the friendship).
We did talk once, last year, when my father died and she called. I was grateful to hear from her and I know it took a lot for her to pick up the phone after so many years.
I wish nothing but the best for her, and am always glad to hear from mutual friends that she is well. Yet, I know that if we were to bump into each other today, it would feel awkward.
IF I value friendship so much, why don't I just go forth and make more friends?
British writer Virginia Woolf once said: 'I have lost friends, some by death - others by sheer inability to cross the street.'"
So the next time I see my friends, I make sure I muster all my courage to go over & say hi ...
For that's all it'll take to maintain the friendship... thanks for taking time to read... & thanks for being my friend.
~friendships may fade, but the memories of the joys shared, the good times and the bad, will always remain in our hearts, forever till we are no more...
How true.
The older I get, the more I value friends. Yet, ironically, I find that it is now not only harder for me to maintain old friendships, but also to form new ones. When I was in school, friendships came naturally. My friends and I moved in a pack - we ate, studied, gossiped and partied together. We exchanged secrets and gifts, sent cards and gave treats. Our friendships were firm, and sweet.
By the time I start working life. Through sheer proximity and the amount of time spent together, it was inevitable that some colleagues became more than co-workers.
The saddest thing about friendship is that it can die. It doesn't come with a lifelong guarantee. Distance is one killer. Unless you are diligent in keeping in touch with a friend, being far away can drive a wedge in your relationship. Changes in circumstance is another. It has been said that a friend in power is a friend lost, and I have found this to be true.
When a friend moves up in life, he will become too busy for you, while you don't want to risk rejection by trying to keep in contact with him or her.
Marriages have also caused friendships to fade as your spouse might not take to your friends. Then there are friendships that die because they have simply run their course.
I had a close female friend whom I had known since we were both 17. About four years back, after 16 years of keeping in touch through the mail, long hours on the phone and giggly lunches, our friendship died. Just like that. There was no quarrel, no disagreement, no underlying unhappiness or animosity or hurts. The plug was just pulled.
The last time we saw each other was at lunch - in fact, it was to celebrate her birthday. We were our usual loud selves. After the meal, we gave our usual hug, said our usual cheery goodbyes and made our usual promise to meet again. We didn't call each other for weeks (which was normal, as we were both busy), then months (which began to feel a bit strange, but nothing to be alarmed about), then, yes, years (by then, it was too late to resuscitate the friendship).
We did talk once, last year, when my father died and she called. I was grateful to hear from her and I know it took a lot for her to pick up the phone after so many years.
I wish nothing but the best for her, and am always glad to hear from mutual friends that she is well. Yet, I know that if we were to bump into each other today, it would feel awkward.
IF I value friendship so much, why don't I just go forth and make more friends?
British writer Virginia Woolf once said: 'I have lost friends, some by death - others by sheer inability to cross the street.'"
So the next time I see my friends, I make sure I muster all my courage to go over & say hi ...
For that's all it'll take to maintain the friendship... thanks for taking time to read... & thanks for being my friend.
~friendships may fade, but the memories of the joys shared, the good times and the bad, will always remain in our hearts, forever till we are no more...
posted by Longing... at 1:07 AM
